


Schadenfreude and Tea

by fabricdragon



Series: Fake Relationship Shuffle [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AO3 FB Challenge, Bisexual Male Character, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, mystrade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-06-04 21:24:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: Greg Lestrade has to represent the MET at a very big social function.  His cheating Ex wife will be there with her new husband, and Greg  doesn't want her to know he's still single...





	1. Chapter 1

Greg sat morosely over a beer, “…and my ex-wife will be there.”

John winced. “You HAVE to go?”

Sally nodded, “He’s representing the MET.”

“Can’t you take someone from the office?”

Greg shook his head, “first of all it MIGHT look bad, like they were sleeping their way up, yeah?”

“Oh.” John winced, “Hadn’t considered that.”

“and secondly she knows about most of them from my chatting and she’d know it wasn’t real–but she’d probably get a kick out of trashing both of our reputations  by claiming a work affair while I was married…and the press will be there.”

“I don’t know that many girls who–”

“Doesn’t have to be a girl.” Greg shrugged, “I’m bisexual–she knows that.  I just don’t want her to know I’m still depressingly single.”

John looked dubious, “I don’t think she’d believe me…”

Greg sighed, “John… you KNOW everyone thinks you are with Sherlock?”

“I’m not gay!” John protested, again.

“Not the point,” Greg shook his head, “Since everyone assumes you two are together, if you showed up as my escort you are either breaking up with Sherlock–can you imagine the press– or you’re just doing me a favor.”

John winced. “WHY does everyone thing we’re a couple?”

Sally shrugged, “you two giggle on each other like school girls, you fight like an old married couple, and you both look at each other when the other one isn’t watching.”

“I’m not gay and he’s married to his work!”

Greg raised an eyebrow, “maybe you’re bi and he’s poly?”

Sally  laughed hard enough to have beer come out of her nose and excused herself to the ladies room to clean up.

“Not helping, Greg.”

“Well, if you think of anyone… let me know.”

…

Naturally John told Sherlock about Greg’s plight when he got home–after he scrubbed out the tea pot and made tea.

“The tea pot was clean.” Sherlock muttered into his cup.

“It’s become a habit.” John said firmly.  “Any open container probably had experiments in it.”

“So Gary needs a”

“Greg.”

“So Gandalf needs a date?”

“Greg–wait, since when do you know Lord of the Rings?”

Sherlock waved his hand, “never mind… I have an idea.”

“uh… Sherlock? Maybe you should run this by me or Greg first?”

“No need, It’s perfect!” Sherlock got out his phone and dialed.

“Mycroft? I’m calling that favor…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg gets ready to go to the gala, and Sherlock forgot to tell him some very important things.   
> Greg's POV then Mycroft's POV, then mixed, then sherlock

Greg was changing clothes in the bathroom at the MET–because of COURSE they’d had a case run into the wee hours and he’d fallen asleep over his paperwork.   _Thank God John could go get his suit from the dry cleaners!_   It wasn’t until he unzipped the garment bag that he realized the problem…

“John!” he stuck his head out the door, “This isn’t my suit!  The cleaners sent the wrong suit!”

“DO calm down Gil,” Sherlock’s amused voice preceded the man as he came into sight with his coffee cup. “It’s yours: it’s just on loan for the evening.”

“What?”

“You’d look horribly mismatched next to your date in that outdated thing you call a suit.”

“Date?”

John glared at Sherlock, “you didn’t tell him?”

Sherlock frowned, “I’m quite certain I did?”

Greg dragged a hand through his hair, “Tell me what?  What date?”

“Sherlock got you a date.” John glared at the man in question, “And he said he was going to talk to you about it…”

“Oh, yes, and then we had that poisoning case…” Sherlock said thoughtfully, “in any event you have a date for the event.”

 _Sherlock… SHERLOCK got me a date…_ Greg had a horrified sick feeling that it would be one of his former junkie friends, or … what could possibly be worse… “I had already planned to go alone, it’s no trouble!”

“Nonsense, get dressed in that MUCH nicer suit: he’ll be here soon.”

“He? Who he?! John…!” but John was already having an argument with Sherlock about how this was a terrible idea. They argued like an old married couple and wondered why everyone thought they were a couple.

Greg ducked back into the bathroom and pulled the suit out of the garment bag… it was over his pay grade by a LOT from the feel of it, even if it looked a BIT like something he might wear.  There were new shoes in with it too in a bag… and he recognized the brand from one of Sherlock’s old cases–blasted things cost almost a month’s pay!

He very cautiously changed into the outfit and stared at himself in the mirror… everything fit. That must be why people paid so much for these suits–he looked taller, and his hair looked… good, not just grey, but… distinguished… ok, once he combed it…

If this was ‘not mismatched’ who the hell was his DATE?

~

Mycroft had extracted the maximum return on this farce from his brother that he could.  Certainly it was worth going to one of these boring events to keep Lestrade in good standing?  He had done a truly admirable job of keeping Sherlock out of trouble–as much as anyone could–and providing him with things to occupy his mind…

If Mycroft was being honest, the man was not bad looking, if sadly rumpled.

Speaking of which… he called Sherlock and inquired about DI Lestrade’s garments… of course Sherlock hadn’t thought about THAT at all–as if he would be seen with a date dressed poorly?  Sherlock might be excellent at criminal scenes, but setting the stage for politics was my area. He had planned to get him something far better, but Anthea–bless the girl– pointed out that  stepping his clothing up to far too quickly would cause more talk…

He settled for a moderate improvement in his clothing–something suited to be seen with, but not extravagant.

…

He had his driver wait outside the MET–Gregory had had a brutal case run over time– and walked in.  he could hear his brother and John arguing long before he saw them…

Mycroft pinched his nose: they hadn’t TOLD him?  Good God, he was obviously correct to handle this himself. He was about to launch into an explanation of why they couldn’t be trusted to handle a social event, ever, when Gregory stepped out of the bathroom.

Good GOD the man cleaned up well!   Mycroft’s fingers itched to fix the man’s hair–and truthfully he needed a visit to one of the better barbers– but the suit showed him off to perfection.

Mind you, Mycroft had some surveillance photos of the man in denims and on a motorcycle that looked even better, but he could scarcely show up at the party like that.

“Good day, Detective Inspector–Gregory– I hear that my brother didn’t tell you I had agreed to escort you to the event?”

~

Greg turned at the voice he knew so well on the phone: he’d heard it tired, anxious, cool, commanding… today he sounded approving, if a bit aggravated.  Even though he’d only seen Mycroft Holmes a few times in person he may have harbored a bit of a crush, but the man never treated him with anything but cool professionalism...

And he was here…

Looking even better than he usually did…

And my DATE?!

“N-no? I was planning on going alone… but…I would… um…” he dragged a hand through his hair and smiled, “I’d be utterly delighted to be seen with anyone as good looking as you are–my ex will be jealous as hell.”

Sherlock narrowed his eyes and was unquestionably going to say something rude, so Mycroft cut him off: “the pleasure is entirely mine, Gregory, and it gave me an opportunity to see you in a better cut of suit.  Shall we get going?”

“sure! Yeah!”  Greg turned to Sherlock who was looking suspicious for some reason, “THANK you, Sherlock, I was afraid you were going to send me with someone who… well never mind–I definitely owe you one.”

Mycroft cleared his throat and escorted the man out and into the car.

~

“Well that went well!” John said happily.

“No it didn’t! That was a disaster!” Sherlock hissed.

“What? But they look good together? They seemed pleased…”

“Mycroft and Gerhardt?”

“Greg”

“Whatever!  Good GOD my brother is determined to make me pay for this isn’t he…?”

“What’s the matter now, Sherlock?”

“Mycroft is only doing this because I called in a favor, but Gordon is taking this SERIOUSLY,   he’s going to be horribly upset when my brother doesn’t want a second date, and… and… I might not get any more cases!”

“Maybe Mycroft will WANT a second date?”

“… I’ll have to bribe him.”  Sherlock turned with a dramatic swirl of his coat, “Come along John I have to figure out how to bribe Mycroft into a second date!”

 


End file.
